"In the past few months since I came out, I have been walking around by myself all day long. I have been in contact with complete strangers in a completely unfamiliar environment, which makes my heart feel very peaceful. I like this feeling very much. What can I do? I don’t think about it or care about anything. I am the only one in my world. After a few months, I feel that I have almost forgotten you. I feel that you are not that important in my life anymore, but At this time, you tell me that you are divorced." Li Xiaoxiao looked at Fang Zhiqiang and said.
"Originally I was already desperate for you, but when you told me that you were divorced, the love and desire for you in my heart suddenly burned again, and I couldn't control myself anymore. , especially I know that you must be very sad after your divorce from Wang Yaxin. I really want to come back to you, take care of you and comfort you. At that time, I was almost ready to drive back to your house to find you. But in the end, I controlled myself. I know that your heart is not with me. I know that I should not be with you anymore. I should not give you any chance or give myself any thoughts. I I don’t want to get hurt anymore. To me, you are a dangerous man and I shouldn’t be close to you. I forced myself to cut off all contact with you. I changed my mobile phone number and location and started over. I will forget you on my trip."
"After I came out of Qumalai County, I walked very slowly all the way, seeing and playing wherever I went. No matter where I passed I would stay in any small town for a few days to see the life of the locals and the surrounding scenery. I would take photos to take pictures of the scenery and people here. I would also set up a drawing board to draw, in the deserted place. I went to paint in the ice and snow, painting aimlessly, painting a featureless snow mountain or just a few prayer flags with a few ribbons left. Painting lasted all day, I think this is very good, I like it very much. Or maybe, I will stay in a dilapidated guest house for a few days. I will write a diary and essay by myself in the guest house. I can write a few hundred words for a whole day. After I finish writing, I will find that I I don’t know what I wrote and then tore it up. I like this kind of life very much, this aimless life. I live in my own life and don’t have to think about other people’s feelings or love or not. Love, I only live my own life, and I only have myself in my life." Li Xiaoxiao continued.
"But, at this moment, you called me again, you found me again, and you once again shattered all my persistence and all my efforts. You know, I I can't forget you in my heart. I can't say no to you, and I can't withstand any temptation from you. Your phone call once again made all my months of hard work go to waste. I said I don't want you to find me. You, you said how hard and tiring you were looking for me. Do you know, when I heard you said that you drove around Hoh Xil for four days and three nights to find me, you ate, drank, and lived in the car? when, I couldn't help crying. I'm so useless, even if you are rightI get better every little bit, and I feel that it is a great gift. You said you wanted me to tell you where I am, but I couldn't say no to you, I couldn't be cruel to you, I couldn't be as cruel as you were to me. But I also know that I can't be with you, I can't be with you. I found comfort for myself, I found a reason for myself, and then I made an agreement with you about this encounter in Lhasa. I hope to let God make the decision, whether I choose to be with you or not. Forget you and leave you, because I can no longer make a choice, I can't choose, I can't say no to you, I can only rely on God to say no to you, if God really lets us meet, then this is God's will, God will let us meet again, that's what I thought in my heart. "
"However, you didn't follow the rules of the game. You blocked me here. You didn't even wait for me to enter Lhasa, and there was no agreement to meet by chance. Moreover, you let me see you again. What I fear most is meeting you. As soon as I fall in love with you, all my feelings will be poured into you, and there will be only you in my heart. I will love you again. I can't help myself, just like I am now. Qiangzi, tell me, what should I do? Tell me, now that we are together, is it considered that we have met, or is it that we have not met? Tell me, what should I do? "Li Xiaoxiao looked at Fang Zhiqiang and said, tears flowing out again as he spoke.
Every word Li Xiaoxiao hurt Fang Zhiqiang's heart, Fang Zhiqiang never thought However, along the way, every conversation he had with Li Xiaoxiao and every word he said to Li Xiaoxiao made Li Xiaoxiao so entangled and painful. Before, he always felt that Li Xiaoxiao was willful, and he also felt that Li Xiaoxiao was playing with such a child. The game he played was too childish and was just teasing others. Only now did he realize how helpless and painful Li Xiaoxiao was.
This girl, this gentle, kind and innocent girl, was supposed to be Being her own daughter at home, she should stay at home and be loved by thousands of people, but she is being tortured like this at this moment. And for all this, whether Fang Zhiqiang admits it or not, he must bear the main responsibility. He said before In other words, the person who is loved is always at fault. He is the person loved by Li Xiaoxiao. He must bear responsibility for all the injuries Li Xiaoxiao suffered because of love, because even he thinks so.
However, he had no way to answer the questions Li Xiaoxiao asked, and he couldn't answer them. He only had one idea now, and that was to bring Li Xiaoxiao back to Shanghai. Everything else was trivial. , everything else is a thing later, this is the most important thing.
“Hey, hey, hey, give me some face, okay? Now in the middle of the night, you are sitting here crying to me. The waiter thinks I did something to you. If the police are called, wouldn't it be a big fool? Wipe your tears quickly and we can cry all we want when we get back to the hotel. I will never disturb you, okay? "Fang Zhiqiang said with a smile.Then he took the tissue on the table and handed it to Li Xiaoxiao.
“You think I’m a crybaby.” Li Xiaoxiao was amused by Fang Zhiqiang’s words, rolled her eyes at Fang Zhiqiang, then took the tissue handed over by Fang Zhiqiang and began to wipe her tears, but The mood is obviously much better than before.
“You don’t want to eat?” Fang Zhiqiang asked when he saw that Li Xiaoxiao hadn’t eaten anything.
“I don’t want to eat, my stomach is full, and when I see you, I can’t eat anything, I’m full.” Li Xiaoxiao said again, but her words were full of tenderness.
PS: This chapter is an extra chapter. I saw many friends tipping me today. Thank you all very much, so I added a chapter temporarily. Thank you to my friends who tipped me. The reward is an affirmation of my creation, and I have nothing else to repay you except adding an additional chapter.
Thank you all again for the reward, I will add another chapter to express my gratitude!