Fang Zhiqiang couldn't move at that time. The daughter of the old Wang family, who was a barrister in Shanghai, went to Australia. Besides Yaxin, who else could be the key word for all these?
In an old-fashioned community, many of the residents are former colleagues and friends. They all know each other, and no one’s affairs can be hidden from anyone. In addition, there is nothing to do every day, that is, they can chat and pass the time. time.
Several old people were old and didn’t notice that Fang Zhiqiang was listening from a distance. Anyway, they had nothing else to do but chat. They were still talking enthusiastically: "Old Wang’s family is also a destiny. It’s bitter, she’s just a girl, she’s also unfilial. She conceived the child before she got married at a young age, and then after getting married, the man left before the banquet. What’s this? Didn’t you just listen to what they were saying? , and later they got married and divorced. No one knows what happened. Anyway, they probably had a bad life. If they were good, why did they go so far away without saying a word? My parents didn’t want it anymore. Look at the old man. The Wang family doesn't even leave the house every day. If the daughter had lived a good life, how could she be like this?"
Another old man also leaned over and said: "Who is willing to raise a son for others? I'm afraid it will be difficult to find a partner for a girl like this. If she doesn't go far away, what can she do if she stays at home?"
"Don't even mention it, Lao Wang's family is also kind-hearted, all these are It's someone else's business, who can tell me clearly? Why do you worry about someone else? Your blood pressure and blood sugar go up, and you still ask someone to buy you medicine?"
"That's right, don't say this, who cares? How can you feel better about something like this? Besides, we are all old neighbors, and you are already so old. Who knows what might happen to you one day? Don’t just talk about others."
"Isn't this just idle chatting, just saying a few words. The festival is coming soon, have you bought all the things for the festival?" The old man who brought up the topic earlier said, shaking the cattail leaf fan and changing the topic: "Hey, Have you seen it in the past two days? There is a store opened on the street next to the county government, at the intersection. It is said to be a supermarket, but it only sells fruits, vegetables and meat. It is almost like a vegetable market. I heard it will open tomorrow. , I saw the flyer they sent out, the stuff is really cheap.”
“Then let’s go take a look tomorrow, I’ll be back home for the holidays, buy more and eat it all, if you can’t finish it, let them pack it back. Put it in the refrigerator."
Several people were still discussing lively, and Fang Zhiqiang was completely stunned when he was carrying something. The situation of Wang Yaxin's parents was much more serious than he imagined. These old people were all old neighbors of Wang Yaxin's parents, and they were already speaking with some mercy. If this was the case in their mouths, what about the others? What would you say and see? Fang Zhiqiang knows very well that Wang Yaxin's parents are people with high self-esteem. How can they tolerate these rumors?
And the culprit of all this is not others but myself.
Fang Zhiqiang didn't know how he got on the elevator or how he arrived in front of Wang Yaxin's house. He didn't know if it was a psychological effect, but he always felt that the corridor was much darker. The familiar security door seemed to be rusty, and there were still faint traces of the red couplets that had not been torn clean. Everything seemed to be getting older. , I don’t know what the people in the room look like.
Fang Zhiqiang’s eyes filled with tears, but he never had the courage to raise his hand and knock on the door. The courage he had been mustering seemed to have been exhausted on the way here. He really couldn't bear it and couldn't look at or imagine the suddenly old faces of Wang Yaxin's parents and their heartbroken expressions. I don’t want to irritate them and rekindle their injuries. He only cares about coming when he wants, but isn't his appearance a kind of harm to Wang Yaxin's parents? It even directly tore the unhealed heart bloody again. Even the old people chatting downstairs said he was disgraceful. How much did Wang Yaxin's parents hate him? At such an age, they can only miss Yaxin and Xiaoyu, not themselves, the person who has repeatedly brought them misfortune.
Fang Zhiqiang covered his mouth, leaned his head against the wall, and cried silently. He wanted to see them so much, wanted to bring them comfort, and wanted to find some warm shadows of the past in them. But how can such a selfish idea be realized? How could he possibly still be able to give them comfort? Thinking of Wang Yaxin's mother's angry and sad face when she came back after escaping for the first time, Fang Zhiqiang knew very well that there was no way they wanted to see him.
In the end, Fang Zhiqiang raised his hand several times, but still did not drop it and did not knock on the door. He silently dragged his heavy back and slowly walked to the fire escape while carrying his things. There is no one there, and no one will find him as an unwelcome person. He cannot enter Wang Yaxin's home or see the two old people, but he is reluctant to leave. He can only stay here from a distance, even if it is just That little moment of time.
Fang Zhiqiang shed tears and smoked cigarettes one after another. Soon there were many cigarette butts piled up on the ground. He felt that what was burning was not the cigarettes, but his soul, his whole body. heart. It seems like he is paying homage to the time that can never be taken back and the sincerity he has given. He didn't regret it, but the wound really hurt. How he wished that he could be like a cigarette, burned clean by a fire, with only a little soul left, lingering in the world with nostalgia, and finally dispersed with the wind, so that there would be no pain or debt.
Fang Zhiqiang sat in the fire escape for a long time, until he finished smoking a whole pack of cigarettes. He rummaged all over and could not find a cigarette anymore, and his eyes were dry. I couldn't shed any more tears, it was just painfully swollen, and outside, the sun was setting a little bit, and it was getting dark soon.
"Dad, Mom." Fang Zhiqiang stood up and faced the direction of Wang Yaxin's house and whispered, "In my heart, youYou will always be my parents. I hope I can be my family with you forever. I'm sorry... I hurt too many people and made Yaxin leave you. I'm sorry, I really don't have the face to see you and don't want to make you sad... You must take care and take care of yourselves. "
Fang Zhiqiang finally said sorry again, then knelt down and kowtowed three times respectfully in the direction of Wang Yaxin's house.
According to the custom in many places , when you get married, you have to kneel down and worship the parents of both parties, but the two marriages between Fang Zhiqiang and Wang Yaxin ended without any problems, and there was no formal wedding at all, so he never knelt down to worship Wang Yaxin's parents. He could only At this time, he expressed his feelings from a distance like this. Apart from that, he didn’t know what else he could do.